First was Monday night. I was waiting for the storm to arrive and making preparations. I was anxious. That amount of discomfort has not been around for awhile. For a brief moment , that is the key word brief, I thought a glass of booze would be nice to make me feel better. Now I am not worried about this because it was a reflex thought to a situation. The thought was not entertained or romanced in any way. My brain was just thinking like it has in many occasion in the past, hundreds of times has my brain gown down this path. Hundreds of times it is what I did. I was not thinking of anyway to make this happen. The thought of booze ended right there even though my discomfort did not.
The second thought of drinking was a bit more worrisome. Later in the week at work I saw a glass of wine being poured. First thought was that looks nice, clean glass, pretty color and I bet it is cold and refreshing. Well that is like 4 thoughts and a bit of romanticizing. It did not end there. The next couple of thoughts concerned how some people will say they don't have a drinking problem because they only drink wine or beer. I wonder if I could just drink some wine and be ok? I bet I could do that , drink wine and not get into trouble. Now that is bunch of thoughts that worry me. Luckily it all happened in like 3 seconds, was squashed immediately and not thought of again til I type it down now.
The first occasion on monday did not bother me at all but the second time around got me mad a bit and a little worried. I must stay diligent and strong. BE wary of this monster. It can be tricky and sneak up on me. I will be a sentinel and beat it down every time it shows its ugly monster face.
Love you all Jaybird
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