Never thought ...

I never thought I would drink in the morning . I never thought I would drink at work . I always thought I would be in control . That alcohol is my friend and companion . All these things are proven false . And there is much more . Things I did while drunk . Things I did so I could get and be drunk .   Once I had an opportunity to spend a lot of time with a girl I had a crush on . I choose not to because it would in fringe on my drinking time . I turned down giving this girl a ride somewhere so I could get home ,drink and smoke pot  . I regret that a bit these many years later .
At one time alcohol seemed to be a friend . I  could go to it and be sure of having a good time . It did seem to make anything better . We did have some great times together .  Alcohol at some point turned to that annoying companion , that old friend who was always around but had nothing new to say . It had to always be in to everything I did . Then  At some point it became a monster . A thing that haunted me day and night . I could not getaway from it . A monster I wanted gone but was front and center always .  No matter how much this monster beat me up I would always go back for more . It is strange to know you must NOT do something and yet you do it anyway . Day after day to know this must stop but to pick up the bottle again . It can take a very smart man and make him feel so stupid . So lost . So alone .
Thanks for listening . Love you , Jaybird
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