I can not drink ...

What Job Can I get that I can drink at ? Really , what job can I get away with drinking at  ?
That is what I was thinking when I was fired from a job for drinking . Six months earlier when I got my 2nd warning for drinking , I was thinking that I  need to get better eye drops , not the generic kind . I got to get a better gum too . One that has better breath protection . I probably should wear more deodorant . It never crossed my mind I should stop drinking . Well it really did but I knew I wouldn't so I did not think about it much .I did get two more jobs that I got away with my drinking for a while . That is how my life was . In personal and work was always how to sneak and get away with drinking . It is not something I wanted . As I have said before ,  in the end it was not my choice to drink or not drink  . I was running out of options to live like this and on a daily basis consider ending it .
Now that I have gone through detox and been sober for some time , I do have a choice . I can choose to drink or not . That power is mine to hold on to . I have that power as long as I do not drink . If I drink I will loose the ability to stop . I CAN not drink . I say that with a positive tone  .
Love you , Jaybird